Father Priest, Mother Priestess
By Patrick McCleary
Role of the Father Priest
It is my belief that the a Father Priest has the responsibility to support his family’s Mother Priestess. But support her in what? Well the short answer is; In building the traditions of the Family Coven. I am hesitant to begin speaking of gender roles, because I am not a sexist. But I believe that women and men are different and have different and unique energies to bring to any task and especially in the creation and upbringing of children and in the building of their spiritual tradition.
In my Family Coven, I have the responsibility of creating the lessons for the children and some of the traditions. And I bring the masculine energy of the God to my daughters. It is a responsibility that I take very seriously, since how their experience with the opposite sex will begin with me.
Me and my wife are a big fan of the old-school views on husband and wife, with a modern twist of course. We both work and both share household chores. But she takes more of a responsibility in the daily raising of the children, while I take more responsibility in providing and tending to the support of the family. While we came to this arrangement naturally, looking back I saw that in Wiccan mythology the Goddess (Mother) is nurturing while the God (Father) was the provider. But this doesn’t mean that I do not nurture my children. For I am a firm believer in balance. We all have Goddess and God within each of us.
So what should the Pagan Father look like in your Family Coven? Well that answer will be different as each of us. I believe that he should take on the masculine role as teacher and leader but embrace his “inner Goddess” so to speak. He should seek to be balanced. Strong but flexible. Loving but stern. The epitome of maleness but still in touch with his inner feminine. I seek to be the best provider, teacher, healer, rock of strength, meter of discipline that any person can be. I am far from perfect but I try my best to be just that.
On a side note: this is something that I see lacking in Wicca and Paganism at general. There are good fathers but there are not, or at least very few, good Pagan fathers. Too many I have met in Paganism just kind of drift along with the flow of people around them. Men for some reason are not deeply involved in Paganism. They do not try to be leaders. Although through networking I have found a few that I know are great fathers. But this is just a pet peeve of mine, one that I won’t cover this day.
Role of the Mother Priestess
The Mother Priestess is the nurturer and the light of the Family Coven. And as the moon guides us through the darkest night, the Mother Priestess can do that for the other members of her Family Coven.
She is also a protector of her children and the shoulder that they cry on when they fall (whether physically or otherwise). As she is supported by the Father Priest, so is it her role to support Him. In my Family Coven I take much responsibility on my shoulders. I work the most and manage the money and subsequently I blame myself for things not ending on the right note, for not being able to give my family everything they want. And it is my wife, as Mother Priestess who knocks sense back into me and helps me to overcome. And for this I am greatly appreciative.
But what else does the Mother Priestess does? She can be the initiator of the young girls into young adulthood. She is the reflection of the Goddess in all her aspects, not just in the Mother aspect. She shows Her sons how to treat a lady and Her daughters on how to act and how to expect to be treated.
With the Father Priest, She helps to establish the ethical code of the Family Coven. And works to instill those core values into Her children. Along with this She is the teacher of the young minds on the lessons that only a Mother can give. The ability to nurture, and to feel, to have compassion and instinct.
I know this article isn’t long, but I have a very limited experience on being a Mother Priestess, if you know what I mean.
Blessed Be!