Family Coven Magic
by Lydia M. Crabtree
Cofounder, Author, HPs
The sun was scorching as I sat crocheting in the lawn chair by the lake. I only get to crochet at Pagan gatherings. Without a computer, watch or cell phone, I am cut off from my busy and demanding schedule. Sitting there, I felt the heat of high summer burning my fair skin and adjusted the large umbrella I tote around. I started wishing I had brought water and a root beer from my campsite. I mention this in passing to the woman reading beside me.
About ten minutes later a familiar silhouette blocked the sun. It was my Husband Priest, Stone. He handed me my crocheted bottle holder filled with a cool bottle of water. I smiled as I grasped the handle, looked up to thank him and heard my neighbor gasp beside me.
“I thought you might like a root beer, too, ” Stone said, giving me the can, dripping with condensation, in his other hand.
We laughed together. He kissed me and turned to help the other men split firewood for ritual.
My neighbor was overcome by the strangeness of the interaction. “Wow, that was a coincidence, him bringing that root beer and water like that, right after you said you wanted it.”
I giggled and brushed it off as weird even though I know better. I then recount for her twisted amusement other coincidences. Like at the fair when we got separated from Tree Bear, our 10-year-old son. After an initial five minutes of grade-A panic, Stone and I stopped and sent a message to Tree Bear instructing him to go to the place where we had eaten lunch earlier in the day. Then we deliberately walked toward our lunch spot, continuing to send the energy that Tree Bear should find us there.
As he came into sight, we were all relieved. We never even bothered to ask how he knew where to meet us.
There was also a day that I knew something had happened to Tree Bear. Without thinking, I was in my car and half-way to the school when the school office called to tell me he was throwing up. There was the time Stone called me while I was in the middle of a heated debate with a critic at a gathering. Not only did his phone call end the verbal abuse I was taking, Stone’s added energy in the room caused the critic to avoid me for the remainder of the event. In fact, men stayed well away from me.
I felt like my aura had a sign over it that said, “My Goddess, My Priestess. Leave her alone!” Later, Stone would confirm that that was exactly the energy he had sent to haunt me.
My reading buddy was amazed and asked how this was possible. I laughed and said, “We are Family Coven.”
The Laws of Magic teach us very clearly that knowledge breeds power. The more you know of something, someone or some event, the more power you have. Further, the Law of Contagion explains that the more contact you have with something (or someone) the more knowledge you have of that thing (or person) .
These are the bases for the magic we work; yet practitioners still ignore the potential magic they are living with. It seems to slip their minds that by the very Laws of Magic; there is more knowledge and more contagion with our families than with any other people on this planet.
Family Covens, by their nature, make up and practice, are poised to have a power the world of Witchcraft has dreamed about since its reemergence the past century. It is this untapped and underdeveloped authority that is going to shape the destiny of Witchcraft. Family Covens are returning the influence of Witchcraft to the kitchen table, where many claim it came from.
The make-up of Family Coven is completely unique and different from any existing and recognized group within Neopaganism, Witchcraft and Wicca. Family Coven’s existence begins when two or more adults join together to form a union of love through ritual and solemn oath.
“I told my second husband, ” one Mother Priestess in California said, “That when we, my first husband, he and myself, handfasted, it is a solemn oath before the Gods and each other, and it will not be easily broken. That is how I know that our relationships will not end, because of how it was undertaken.” When the adults of this Family Coven handfasted together, that union of love between the three of them became the cornerstone of the Family Coven, which would eventually include six children.
When my Husband Priest asked me to marry him, he had my son, Tree Bear give me the engagement ring. He would later tell me that his commitment would be to both of us, and when we were legally married, he took oaths to Tree Bear and me. A lesbian couple in the South handfasted and brought together two sets of children to create a blended Family Coven. In all of these examples and by definition, High Priests or High Priestesses do not run Family Covens. The cornerstone relationship is one that is undertaken to create survival for all members. These means that single persons or single parents create that cornerstone relationships for themselves or their children.
Family Covens exist for two very distinct reasons: First, a Family Coven feeds, provides for and clothes the members of the Family Coven. Second, a Family Coven explores, develops and partakes of the spiritual nature of each member. It is this second purpose that is typically overlooked by magical families for various reasons.
It is hard to raise a family, and being spiritual is seen as some extra event outside of raising the family. Family Covens have come to understand that raising a family is a spiritual practice in and of itself.
“How can I separate my spirituality from my family?” one Husband Priest explains asked. “My love for Robert and our adopted son permeates the most spiritual places in my soul. It is the basis for my spiritual life.”
Once this shift of perspective has been made, becoming a spiritually-centered family is a seamless move. Spiritual opportunities abound and are recognized and exploited.
“I chant a banishing spell while I vacuum and eventually my seven- and three-year-olds knew it by heart. They would follow in my path saying the chant for me. Then I realized that my seven-year-old was actually moving energy with me, intuitively, ” one Mother Priestess wrote about the results of incorporating the spiritual and mundane in her home.
In my Family Coven, when the pool is empty at the complex, Tree Bear, Stone and I will go to the water and play games. Tree Bear’s favorite is, “What color are we thinking?” One person focuses on changing the water a color other than blue, and the rest have to guess what the new color is. Eventually, we had to move on to shapes, because we all got so good at changing and guessing.
At dinner, families could not just share what mundane things happened, they could be asked probing questions that would bring forth spiritual exploration.
“When my daughter tells me about a bully at school, I ask her how the spiritual side of her should handle it. We talk about our values and what we think needs to be done as a Family Coven, ” one Mother Priestess has told me.
Being a spiritually-centered family simply means that spirituality is part of the focus of the family. It is kept in the forefront and made an intimate part of who and what that family is, creating Family Coven.
Back at the gathering, Stone split wood, and I returned to my crochet. Simultaneously, we stopped what we were doing and stood up. Looking to each other, we turned and started to quickly walk toward the main path. A sweaty, excited boy came careening around the bend, saw us and screamed, “Tree Bear is hurt! He fell, and he’s bleeding!”
Natural pandemonium took over as I followed the sweaty boy to my son and my Husband Priest took off in another direction. Bringing my son to my seat at the beach, my Husband Priest soon appeared with water, the first aid kit and ice in a plastic zippered bag — all the things I had already assessed were needed to fix my son’s busted leg.
The reading woman gasped again as Stone set to work fixing the injury.
“Being Family Coven is damn useful, ” I said to her, laughing at her persistent amazement that my family was psychically connected.