Family Practice
Cofounder, Author, HPs
Dragonstone Family Altar
Practice. It is an interesting term to describe what Pagans, witches and Wiccans do. We practice our beliefs. We recycle. We garden. We perform elaborate and simple rituals. We camp and hike. We practice our beliefs.
We have been raised to believe that practicing one’s faith leads to growth, strength and a stronger character. It does.
Yet Pagan families struggle over whether or not it’s correct to pass along the same lesson to their children. It’s certainly not as easy as when we were learning a well-established religion. There are no Vacation Pagan Schools, weekly Moonday Schools or even camps to run to and learn Pagan spiritual lessons.
Even when there is the rare opportunity to expose children to the art and science of the Craft, there seems to be a fear that a parent might unduly influence their child’s destiny.
It wasn’t the teachings of our parents that we buckled under, it was their expectation that we could not live any other way or diverge from the accepted doctrine. We don’t have to keep our children in the dark about the joy we find in Paganism. We accept them for who they are becoming and expect only that they will be who they are meant to be.
What Pagan parents should be afraid of is loosing our children because of a lack of direction, a lack of grounding and centering or worse, loosing them to zealots and cults.
I recently had a long talk with a neighbor who saw my “Freedom of Religion Means Any Religion” bumper sticker and stopped to discuss it. She had rejected the Christian church when she was about 30 years old. Now her oldest son has joined an extremely conservative church and married a preacher’s daughter. He refuses to let her see his grandchildren because she is “Godless.” Near tears she said, “I just don’t go to church, and that makes me Godless?”
This is what we need to fear. Without spiritual direction and grounding our children can be influenced by others in ways that will negatively affect our relationship with them. Although good parents have bad children all the time, the reality of this situation demonstrates our need to proceed with this outcome in mind.
My favorite quote is, “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything” (John Mellencamp). Children need to be taught to figure out what they stand for. Children want direction and guidance and boundaries. Psychology has taught us that clearly defined boundaries, consistent parenting and an instillation of faith has the best chance of raising healthy, happy adults.
Family practice of Paganism or Wicca or Witchcraft or whatever it is you call what you do, can give your child that same sense of security, a place in the world and the assuredness that Christianity may have given you at one time. Simultaneously, it will give your child what you didn’t have - choice.
Family of the Healing Waters full moon altar
Good family practice raises children to choose a spiritual path to study at his or her Coming of Age and initiates them into that path when they are between the ages of 18 and 21. Good family practice teaches children that their Family Coven™ is special because no one else does it like they do. However, being in Family Coven™ doesn’t teach that there is only one way. A Family Coven™ finds its own way and expects that everyone else, even their own members, will find theirs.
Great Family Covens™ are open to the organic nature of children and change to suit them, include them and accept their ideas.
Just remember, it wasn’t the faith you rebelled against, it was the expectation. Give your child the faith and let your only expectations be that they have some kind of faith, some kind of code of value or honor to live by and a love and respect for their Family Coven™. In these expectations, you place more pressure on yourself to guide, lead and love your children in a healthy way than you do on the child.
Children want leaders, and if they do not find them in their parents, they will find them elsewhere.
The views expressed and the opinions held by individual authors of any linked articles are not necessarily the views and opinions of FWTI.