Why Exposure is Not Indoctrination
By Lydia M. Crabtree
Cofounder, Author, HPs
I have a gripe about Neopagan Parents, and it has to do with an overwhelming sentiment of irresponsibility when it comes to the raising and education of their children.
A gentleman from Gather.com summed it up for me:
I have followed and participated in Wicca for twenty-some-odd years. I do wear a pendant about my neck, but the altar and necessities are set up in a separate and private room, and I do not intend to introduce my son to it until he has reached the age of reasoning, if he so wishes.
Fundamentally, I agree that when Tree Bear reaches the age of reason it is the time to start asking him what faith he will be serious about and how serious he wants to be about it.
I hear from parents all the time that they do not wish to shove their religion down their child’s throat. They tell me they want their children to have freedom of choice about what spiritual path they want to involve themselves in. However, do people who are long-time, devoted Wiccans, Witches or Neopagans really create an environment that would permit their children to be Christians?
Children are learning from you whether you are consciously teaching them or not. They can hear all the time. They are listening, all the time. To that end we should seriously assess what we are shielding our children from and why.
The Age of Reason is now.
If you have children and you spend time with them, you are very aware that the age of reason is always developing. I have watched my own children and Goddess children go from confusion to comprehension sometimes in a matter of seconds.
I had a professor when I was at college ask me to supper at her house. In her living room was a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, built into the wall, complete with a rolling staircase. Examining the bookcase, I found children’s books on the lower shelves and as I worked my way up, the books also grew up. I asked her about it.
She told me that if her children could reach a book, then they could read the book and ask questions about it. “Their height is what they need to grow into, both physically and intellectually,” she told me.
I noticed, however, that there were themes throughout. On the lowest shelf there was a religion section about different faiths and practices specifically geared toward young children. As I went up the books grew in intellectual age; however, the subjects repeated themselves.
My professor was making an excellent point: Education should start immediately and grow as the child’s ability to understand develops. However, education should never be limited.
Religious education doesn’t have to mean indoctrination.
If you claim you are serious about giving your children a freedom of choice, then it is your job to afford them choices and support the exploration of those choices.
My son, Tree Bear, has been to Buddhist retreats and monasteries, Christian churches of various denominations, and Earth-based celebrations and pow-wows where sacred dance was involved. I have read parts of The Bible, The Koran, The Book of Mormon, and the teachings of Buddha, and read to him “The Charge of the Goddess.”
There has been plenty of room for him to shape his own belief. I haven’t pushed one agenda over another. When Tree Bear wanted to go to church, I took him without hassle or question. When he had questions about church, I told him what the church might say, not what I believed. Then I asked him his opinion.
In doing this, Tree Bear can explore all religions and make the decision of faith and practice for himself.
Education is not indoctrination, and education
always gives people more choices not fewer.
Everyone needs to have belief, know what the belief is and be able to defend that belief.
How many ________ (fill in any religion’s member) have you met that could not defend why it is that they believe the way they do? Do you really want your child to be like that?
We live in a world dominated by four major religions: Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism and Muslim. Are your children going to have to live in that world? Of course they are! You would never send a warrior onto a battlefield without the proper intelligence. Why in Goddess’ name would we send our children out into the world unarmed and without an understanding of the faiths they are going to encounter? Why would we send out our children without an understanding of our own faith?
Education allows children to begin to understand the beliefs of others and prepares them for when they met someone of another faith. When my son meets a Buddhist monk, he gives the appropriate greeting. When he is in Circle, he knows to call the High Priest and High Priestess Lord and Lady, respectively. When he meets a Catholic priest, he understands why he or she wears a collar and what it means. When he attends church, he knows what the sacrament is and can decide for himself whether or not he wishes to partake. In a Catholic church, he knows how to decline appropriately. He has learned respect, and that respect was gained through education.
We have a chance to teach peace through understanding.
Our religion is in a very unique position to do this.
Because our religion has a tendency to have a live-and-let-live attitude and views the world as a place of endless connections, we could raise an army of children for peace.
Tree Bear was in second grade when Parth joined his class. Parth came with a red dot and ash on his head. Some of the Christian children began to tease him. One child began to tell Parth that he was going to die and go to Hell. Parth had no idea what she was talking about.
Tree Bear told Parth, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to believe in Hell. It’s just what they believe in.”
The little girl got very upset with Tree Bear, and he turned to her and said, “No, you don’t understand. You can believe what you want to. And I can believe what I want to. And Parth can believe what he wants to. It’s okay.”
How much safer would our world be today if more parents encouraged that attitude with their children?
I am made up of my beliefs, and I want my
children and Goddess children to know me.
What I know about my mother, I figured out when I found a Bible of hers from college. The notes and annotations she had made in that book laid to bare for me who she was as a person, not as a mother. The fact is, without that book, I would not understand my mother as a woman, because her beliefs, doubts and fears were never a topic of discussion with me.
I don’t want Tree Bear to have to wait until I die to inherit my personal Book of Shadows and suddenly know and understand me. I would like him to know and understand me now. The thing is, I cannot be known without understanding what I have faith in. My life as a Witch is not something from which I can sever myself.
I am not ashamed.
The Number One reason I expose Tree Bear to my personal spirituality is that I’m not ashamed. My sacred religion is just as important as any other. It is just as valid, and its benefits and miracles are just as easy to identify.
I came to realize some time ago that the reason for all the misinformation about Witchcraft is that we are all hiding in the broom closet. I recalled a sermon I heard once about sin. The preacher was explaining that you could identify sin in yourself when you hide it. Hiding, he said, was a symptom of the belief that what you were doing was wrong.
I am doing nothing wrong, and I am never going to give my son that impression. I am not ashamed.